Wednesday, February 26, 2014

the blokes perspective

Tamara has asked me to blog my view on this journey of ours, and anything Tamtam wants from me she shall have.

I just want to make it clear to everybody reading this that is considering this radical procedure that it is always your choice, we live in a country that we have this as an option and I am grateful for that, if you have the same gene and the same choice to make, if you choose to not have prevention surgery, to monitor closely and wait or to live your life like you never knew I respect your decision.

I always wanted Tamtam to have this surgery, for selfish reasons, I love HER, I have found somebody who I want to grow old with, to raise our daughter with (everybody who has seen our 2 year old agrees that she is amazing), to have a peaceful and meaningful home life. I have looked at what having this gene means and know within myself that this is the right choice for our family. It has still been Tamtam's choice but I am glad she has made it.

It has been tough to watch Bess go through cancer from distance, to have our fears confirmed through gene testing, to have every lump, bump, bruise on tamtams breast be a perceived death sentence. I have tried to be her rock through it all, but to be honest I have felt like an iceberg that has slowly melted away in the hot sun. I fear of my future without her so much, I have found so much meaning in life being a parent, but the most joy of all I have had in this world is being parent with Tamtam. 

When Tamtam showed me her scars today I felt happy and belive it or not I smiled, It was weird because I loved her boobs, but I looked at her and knew that the threat of loosing her, the real Tamtam, the woman I love and will spend the rest of my life with, had just been reduced so much. Thank you for having the courage to have this radical surgery so that we can watch our child grow up together.

Tamtam put up a picture that I have taken of her post surgery that was quite confronting, I took another picture of Tamtam and our daughter with both of them smiling, I want everybody to see it to know that the results are not all bad, that so much good can come from this experience.

Well there you have it, the blokes perspective. I have tried to be honest and open hearted because that is what Tamtam deserves.

P.S. Tamtam is my nickname for Tamara and am trying to get everybody to call her it so if you can help that would be appreciated  

1 comment:

  1. I really like your post, your thoughts and the nickname. You sound like a great "bloke" and I wish your little family all the best!