Feeling Blessed

I'm writing this from my very own comfy bed! 5 and a half days in hospital and although I was getting use to the hot chocolates and yummy biscuits, I am so glad to be home. 

I will miss my nurses though. Met some truly beautiful ladies who are deeply committed and passionate about their job. We had some great conversations, great laughs, and a few even helped with my crossword puzzles which was awesome! I dropped off some flowers and a thank you card on my way out but felt like this was such a small amount to give back considering how much love I received from them. Thank you ladies. I'll see you in a couple of months for round 2! 

An interesting day. Started with some fabulous news that all biopsy results have come back as benign. Although suspicious, my newest lesion still demonstrated benign characteristics. This for me means no chemo or radiation!!! Happy dance!!!

My drains were removed and cannula taken out. Not the most comfortable experience having drains removed but it feels great now! For the first time since surgery I have been able to sleep on my side! Being a huge tummy sleeper it's a fraction closer to comfort! 

My beautiful daughter and amazing Rodney arrived shortly after only to tell me my car that is only 4 years old has just died again. Serviced only 3 weeks ago, followed by having to be towed a week later for another issue, now towed again this morning. Just heart breaking. I love my car!! It's always been up to date with services etc so I'm thoroughly upset over this! You think you buy a new car for reliability only to have this happen! Ggrrr!!! Anyway it's off to Holden.... Again.... For mending. Third time lucky maybe??  (Sorry got side tracked there! Rant over!).

So with no way to get home, in step the wonderful Cody to the rescue. Lucky to as well had sooo many flower boxes to take to the car we needed another hand. Cody, thank you for your time this morning. We appreciate everything you did for us! And Jackie thank you for the flowers and cake... YUM!!! Xoxox

My biggest problem now is fighting the urge to clean, play with the dogs, play with the horses. Essentially just do all the little things you do around the house. I've already been I trouble from Rod for placing flowers around the house and trying to clean so making every effort to just sit! The hardest of course is playing with my beautiful Brindy. She is only two and considering is doing an amazing job of gentle cuddles and lots of kisses. My sister gave me the idea that after her surgery she placed a pillow in front of her chest before hugging her girls, which we are doing now also which does help. Also laying Brindy down first then hugging her that way seems to work. Rod stays very close by at this stage though just incase Brindy forgets so seems to be working well. We still have the hospital books and her favourite doll bandaged just like me. 

Saying all that we may need to implement story time for the dogs! My poor old half blind sheltie just got a freight and jumped up on me. Luckily not on my chest but a bit too close for comfort!! I missed my beautiful dogs!

The other exciting news today was hearing my story was in the paper. Feeling famous! 

I'm surprised with how familiar I am getting with my new appearance. Although I never had an enormous bust I'm rather liking the change of not too much in the front! Sounds strange I know! At the moment the expanders are filled to 100cc so a very small a cup. Maybe this is me feeling relaxed and excited about the now cancer free future that lays before me? I of course still have my ups and downs throughout the day but feeling, right at this moment in time, as if I'm actually going to be really comfortable with how the end result looks. 

Baby steps though. And I promise I am trying to be good and not do too much! It is so lovely to be home though!!! 

So my list of necessities I've found so far for this surgery:

* Button up LOOSE pjs and tops

* Very stretchy dance pants/ yoga pants and stretchy shorts

* Neck pillows for under my arms. I was very lucky to receive pillows from Zonta which had ties at the top to stop them falling down. These had less fill in them and were amazing to sleep with. I had larger foamy neck pillows for through the day which just made everything so much more bareable!

* Bowel movement help was a must. As I'm allergic to codeine I was on a lot of endone (morohine) which isn't the best for keeping you regular. Bring on the pear juice! 

* Puzzle books. I'm obsessed with them anyway but it just gave me something to take my mind off things. 

I had a lot of singlets and crop top type shirts packed but this soon after surgery I am still limited in movement so anything button up I'm just finding way more comfortable. 

Thank you again for all your love and support. 

Tam

Xoxox

the blokes perspective

Tamara has asked me to blog my view on this journey of ours, and anything Tamtam wants from me she shall have.

I just want to make it clear to everybody reading this that is considering this radical procedure that it is always your choice, we live in a country that we have this as an option and I am grateful for that, if you have the same gene and the same choice to make, if you choose to not have prevention surgery, to monitor closely and wait or to live your life like you never knew I respect your decision.

I always wanted Tamtam to have this surgery, for selfish reasons, I love HER, I have found somebody who I want to grow old with, to raise our daughter with (everybody who has seen our 2 year old agrees that she is amazing), to have a peaceful and meaningful home life. I have looked at what having this gene means and know within myself that this is the right choice for our family. It has still been Tamtam's choice but I am glad she has made it.

It has been tough to watch Bess go through cancer from distance, to have our fears confirmed through gene testing, to have every lump, bump, bruise on tamtams breast be a perceived death sentence. I have tried to be her rock through it all, but to be honest I have felt like an iceberg that has slowly melted away in the hot sun. I fear of my future without her so much, I have found so much meaning in life being a parent, but the most joy of all I have had in this world is being parent with Tamtam. 

When Tamtam showed me her scars today I felt happy and belive it or not I smiled, It was weird because I loved her boobs, but I looked at her and knew that the threat of loosing her, the real Tamtam, the woman I love and will spend the rest of my life with, had just been reduced so much. Thank you for having the courage to have this radical surgery so that we can watch our child grow up together.

Tamtam put up a picture that I have taken of her post surgery that was quite confronting, I took another picture of Tamtam and our daughter with both of them smiling, I want everybody to see it to know that the results are not all bad, that so much good can come from this experience.

Well there you have it, the blokes perspective. I have tried to be honest and open hearted because that is what Tamtam deserves.

P.S. Tamtam is my nickname for Tamara and am trying to get everybody to call her it so if you can help that would be appreciated  

Day after surgery - Warning - Graphic images

I've just had my bandages removed and seen (from looking down view) my scars and lack of breasts for the first time. In their place are two very high sitting, what only feels like rocks which are my expanders in their place. I was warned the expanders would sit higher and more laterally but it's awkward feeling these in their place. At the bottom of my breasts are what can only be described as the left over skin. A temporary and uncomfortable experience! The red in this picture isn't bruising, just the antiseptic wash.

My nurses here at Sunshine Coast private have been AMAZiNG!!! And I don't know if it was just the amount of drugs I was on but all look like models! Gorgeous! I'm being well looked after although not to fond of heparin injections.

I have just had my drip removed, however am still sporting these two lovely drains from each breast and will be keeping these for a while. They have had to change then once already so producing a bit of fluid which hopefully will settle. They remind me of the Tupperware cookie decorator where you squash them down to get the stuff out.

Those I'm friends with on Facebook are already aware of the ninja situation on my legs! Hiiiyyaahh!!  Blood pressure cuff around my calf as well (obviously with nodes removed we are unable to use my arm. 

Honestly... I'm uncomfortable, tired, the pain is manageable but just awkward. It's going to take some time to get use to these expanders. 

On the plus I just had a lovely parcel delivered from Zonta and Buderim cancer group. 

Zonta has given me pillows for my arms, a drain holder and a DVD. 

Funky little drain bag

The breast cancer group parcel has some fluffy socks, and some little snacks and drink which I'm excited about. One the bag it can in is this quote which just sums up everything beautifully.... "Once you choose hope, anything is possible."

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. The hard bits done.... Now it's just the uncomfortable road for a few weeks! Time to go back to sleep for me! 

XoXox

One more day....

Just one more day to get through now. My surgery is on early Tuesday morning. I am very blessed to have spent today with my beautiful family. I was completely spoilt with lunch, tea, wine and even a healing lamp! We listened to a beautiful jazz band with an amazing singer Lizzie O'keefe who you need to check out! Brindy had a great time dancing and having lunch with us listening to the music, followed by giving high fives to everyone on the way out! Gorgeous girl! 

I am lucky to spend tomorrow with my beautiful work family who I am so lucky to have in my life. 

Rod will take over for a little while on the blog so keep watching his updates. Please follow my blog and keep sharing. The support is overwhelming but even more importantly I am learning of so many others this blog is helping. I'm glad I can be a part of your journey. 

My mum told me too make sure I don't put up photos I will regret letting thousands see.... Within reason... This is what it's sadly all about. Say goodbye to the ladies! BRING ON TUESDAY!! 

 

And one taken tonight! Bye ladies. 

Tam

XoXox 

Getting Organised

So today is my last full day at home before surgery. Tomorrow will be spent relaxing and horse riding with my family, Monday I am spending the day with my work family (purely as distraction!!), but today is about getting the house sorted and tidy, grooming the dogs, packing my bags, and sorting out any last minute bits and pieces.

Pretty much have my bag sorted already this morning. Numerous pairs of button up pajamas, travel pillows for under my arms, comfy pants, a couple of button up tops, surgical bras (not that I'll need them yet), drain belts, and of course a puzzle book! New make up, tooth brush and moisturiser bought. 

Sadly my good pair of havi's died yesterday so I do need to pick up a new pair today. I need to also find my kindle charger!!

Have I forgotten anything???

Something else which I hadn't prepared properly for is explaining to Brindy about me being in hospital and not being able to lift her up for a while. Whilst looking for new shoes I am going to have a look for a book or two about hospital. We will also have some bandages for her 'baby Hayley' to help try to explain. Any other advice for explaining hospitals to a two year old?

Tam

Xoxo

ANXIETY

I mentioned when I started this blog that I would write about all my experiences on this journey. That means the good, the bad, and the sleep deprived.

No matter the amount of yoga, meditation, exercise, nor the twenty packets of calming tea, chamomile, herbal anxiety sprays, rescue remedy etc that I use... I can't sleep. This time next week I will be on my way to Sunshine Coast Private hospital. Although I have come to terms with my decision to have a double mastectomy and I am at peace with this decision, it doesn't stop the anxiety that comes with it. This isn't my first surgery, and working in the medical industry have also seen a number of surgeries as well. But there is always that "What if". I am nervous about the entire experience. I am nervous about waking up with no breast tissue and what that is going to look like. I am nervous about the pain of the expanders. I am most nervous about the result of histology when they hookwire my (newly named) fishy blob. The result of which determines if when I wake up I proceed with further needed treatments.

I have had to seek medical help to assist me in sleeping. Last night although I kept waking up the difference was I fell back to sleep very quickly. Didn't even hear Brindy Bear wake up this morning (sorry Rod!).

Sadly I am not coping well with expressing my anxiety over this matter. I have been brought up (like my beautiful sisters) to be strong. The three Allcorn girls put on a brave face, suck it up (for a better expression), and get on with it! My sister showed so much strength and determination throughout her breast cancer  journey, and my older sister has stood by and watched both of us go through trauma and stood by supporting us the best she can. However to actually talk about what is going on in emotional terms is not our strong point!! Hence one of the reasons this blog was started. Prior to this blog I was keeping too much inside. Poor Rod experienced an explosion of emotion when I just couldn't take it any more and I blurted out everything going through my head in a mess of tears. In fact I asked Rod to read everything above this paragraph and he told me I was only scratching the surface and to go back and write more!

My biggest anxiety is how I am going to look. I understand the scars, I have seen so many photos of post op, I have seen the implants and expanders, but it will be so different when I see them on myself. There are words from my surgeon that keep repeating themselves... "You are going from having amazing boobs, too good boobs". This is a hard visualisation for me to accept. I am dreading the day we take the bandages off and I see myself in the mirror. I know Rod will always love me and be here for me but will I still be attractive to him also plays my mind.

I have seen first hand the problems that can occur with implants and having repeated surgeries to fix implants scares me. On this note I am scared about future surgeries regarding these implants. At my age it is a guarantee that they will have to be replaced down the track.

The unknown of if my daughter has the gene as well haunts me. I can only hope that by the time she is 18 and if she chooses to have the test done, they have a simpler method for dealing with this.


The one topic that I have not mentioned yet is how I feel at this exact moment in time about my breasts. I am at a point where I do not want to look at myself in the mirror. I do not want to acknowledge my breasts in away way. I am even in a scary frame of mind that makes me not want to be intimate at fear of knowing I will not feel those sensations post surgery. You'd think I would be trying to make the most of it whilst I still had them??

Ok... so this is clearly for me the hardest blog post I have written. It is now late afternoon. Due to my inability to effectively communicate my emotions on this subject, this blog has taken me literally all day to write. I do hope that this insight into how I am coping does help others. Both people who are also going through this and to those trying to understand and appreciate this journey.

With over 2500 views on the blog I am so overwhelmed with the support. Please keep sharing as if I can help just one person then this process will be worth it.

I'd love to hear your comments and stories.

Tam xoxox

One week till surgery

10 days till surgery… I meet Zeus….

What an incredible day. Throughout this process of finding out and dealing with the breast cancer gene I have had many ups and down. Some decisions have been simple, such as … um… ok… so I can't think of any right now that have been simple!! The overwhelming majoring has just felt like heart break after heart break. The biggest of which is coming to terms with the fact that in just over a week now, I will have no breast tissue and two very large, very ugly scars. (And future tattoo nipples - I'm such a rebel!).  I have come to look at part of this surgery as not only life saving for myself, but also in a grieving process as well. 

Remember when you were in school and sang those songs "I must, I must, I must increase my bust!" and of course any song with boob reference… "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" and "My boobs, my boobs, my boobs are OK!". Ops… been here singing the milkshake song and dancing around for the last five mins! Lost my focus for a moment there! Anyways… It was always such a big thing (and still is for most women) to have an impressive chest size. Why would so many women undergo cosmetic breast enhancements if it wasn't? I even remember looking in the mirror when I was just developing being so excited! Not to mention I had more of a chest then anyone else in the 7th grade at that stage! YEW! So to me this process certainly has not been an easy solution to arrive at. It is knowing that after this surgery I will have a continued life without a high risk of cancer trying to steal my amazing partner, my daughter, and my incredible family and friends away from me. 

So… This brings us to today. As a 'farewell' to my boobs, I wanted portraits taken. Not confronting "well here are the last photos of my boobs" but artistic reflections of this point in time PRIOR to having such drastic surgery. This is part of MY grieving process. Today was about confronting my fears head on knowing that whatever happens over the next couple of weeks/months I will still be hear and standing. 

In step the AMAZING BAMBI WIXON!! Not only a fantastic, creative and loving photographer but someone who was so inspired by what lays ahead for me, took everything to the next level. As well as my artistic nude style shots, Bambi has created the idea of before, during and after my surgeries. At this stage all I can tell you is that it involves a nest, eggs, and a HUGE BLOODY SNAKE!!! I have my complete trust and faith in Bambi and letting her go crazy nuts on whatever ideas spring into her head!

Bambi encouraged me into the studio by saying the snake is only a metre long and will have just eaten so will be very subdued and quiet. The first thing essentially that the lovely snake handler Brett tells me is that the snake "Zeus" is 8 ft long and hasn't eaten for a number of weeks so he is lovely and shiny…. uuummmm… RUN!!!! I had a quick briefing on trying to keep my heart rate slow and what happens if he bites! lol Thanks Bambi!

The lovely Tiffany stood beside me incase I needed a hand moving the Zeus… which I was pretty much paralysed so needed much help!!! 

Bambi: "Tam just bring your left arm in a little"

* I make a pathetic attempt to move *

Bambi: "oh… you can't… oh well…"

By the way, sorry for the amount of boob you had to see Tiffany!!  I managed to not get bitten but stay relaxed (except for the nervous sweat pouring off me!). Zeus truly was a beautiful snake who, although I can't say I enjoyed the experience, was pretty amazing and thoroughly ensured I confronted my fears head on!

We can't wait to see the finished product (which does involve more photos after my surgery) but for now we do have some behind the scenes images for you! Note the strategically placed Mr Zeus!

Thank you to Brett and Tiffany for bringing in Zeus and helping me throughout the shoot, for Kim who made my make up and hair look incredible! and of course to Bambi for making me feel so comfortable and helping me on this scary journey. xoxo

Hair and make up time!

 Bambi having a cuddle with Zeus.

A very strategically held snake and my screaming on the inside face!!!!! (And of course my saviour Tiffany!)

10 days till surgery

I LUV pressies!!

Recieved some amazing gifts in the mail today! 

Travel pillows for under my arms from the Zonta club. 

A berlei 'my care kit' with post surgical bras, singlets and soft foam bra inserts.

Some AMAZING smelling tea which Rod is not aloud to have!

And a 'my journey' pack from the breast cancer network Australia! 

Thank you Bess!!!!!!!!

This gave me a big giggles when I saw it... Will need to use this one a lot ... 

There are so many resources out there and some great information however I am yet to find a "so your about to chop your boobs off by choice..." pack. If you know of one let me know!!! 

Thank you everyone for your support. Im so glad I have so many who are helping me in this daunting journey. I'm learning already that of the 750+ views of my blog that some are about to go have their genetic tests / recently found out they are positive. I do hope you find everything I'm posting here in the lead up to my surgeries helpful. I'm attempting to be as honest as I can in every aspect. 

Tam

XoXox

BRWHAT???

Lets take a few minutes to learn a little more about the BRCA1.

Now more commonly referred to as the Angelina Jolie gene, the BRCA1 gene is sadly now a part of my life. The Breast Cancer network Australia comments that 90 to 95% of breast cancers have absolutely nothing to do with family history. Purely by cruel fate, breast cancer in majority of case is just by chance. This does imply that it is coincidence that several people in one family have developed cancer... However maybe there is a further gene that just has not been recognised yet???

The second occurrence can be related to environmental factors. There are correlations between families living in similar environments with similar diets and lifestyles, that have been linked with breast cancer.

The final occurence is the 5 to 10% of breast cancers that occur from a gene fault, or gene mutation, and are passed down through family lines. Both BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene mutations are known to be associated with an increased risk of developing both breast and ovarian cancer, with BRCA1 being marginally more aggressive and higher occurrence at younger ages. Men can also be a carrier of this gene.

As mentioned previously in this blog, having this gene does not mean that I have cancer. It is only linked with an increased risk.

In Australia the process of testing is fairly straight forward. You do have to be over the age of 18. Generally your process will start (and continue) with the help of a genetic councillor. You will be given all of the information you need to make in an informed choice about whether to go ahead with testing or not. It's sadly not just a matter of "Ok I have the gene now I can ignore it". The knowledge you have this gene will constantly plague you so you have to be ready to accept that if the test comes back positive how you are going to handle it. There is also the matter of life insurance... Important to consider BEFORE having your test.

The actually diagnosis is simple. Blood is sent off and a couple of days later you will receive a phone call to come back in and discuss the results with your councillor. I can only hope that it is negative for you.

The good news (if any) of having a positive test will enable your family to also have the test. For me, my sister and mother having a positive test prior to mine actually enabled my testing to be medicare covered. I am unsure of the costs involved if you do not have an associated positive gene already?

So.... the test has just come back positive. You will be sent off to two specialists. One to deal with the ovaries, the other the boobs. I am so incredibly blessed to have the two most amazing surgeons! I have a history already gyn wise and before I had a chance to ring and make an appointment my gynacologist was calling ME to see if I was ok after he heard the news. My breast surgeon as well is the most incredible women who has taken my views and opinions into consideration as well as gently encouraging what she thought was the right path. As this is such a personal choice and only one in which you can make on your own, they provided me with the information I needed and only on my cues have proceeded with further plans for surgery.

Off I went after initial consultations with my surgeons for blood tests, MRI's and ultrasounds (both breast and gynie) every 6 months for monitoring.

There is now a lot of information available on the net if you are after any more information. The amazing FORCE group is here in australia with facebook pages and yearly conferences. There are also the Breast Cancer Foundation and the Breast Cancer Network Australia groups who have plenty of information also. Talk to your GP and of course keep up to date with your mammos/ultrasounds.

 If you are seriously considering having this test I wish you all the best of luck.


12 Days to go!

We love shopping!

I have been told that post op I will struggle to lift my arms for a number of weeks as well as wearing very fashionable drains. So button up shirts are the way to go!! However the only real button up shirts I have are my uniform... Not too sure how Cooloola Radiology feels about me staining my shirts with blood and drains etc... So decided to buy some new shirts! Hurray! 

A patient actually informed me about an 80% off sale at Big W so off I went. Came home with numerous button up shirts and even some comfy pants!

Also picked up a nude coloured bra and knickers... Special purpose for this weekend (more revealed on Saturday... And by more... I mean MUCH more!!). See you Saturday Bambi Wixon ;-)

Why have a double mastectomy at 27 when you do not have cancer?

The ultimate reality is… I don't have cancer… yet. My mother who has the same gene has not had breast cancer. She has been blessed to be in that small percentage of us who do have this gene to not be diagnosed. My sister on the other hand, my aunt, grandparents… in-fact we can trace breast cancer back 6 generations in our family. My 87% percent chance is still a 13% chance of not ever getting any form of cancer in my breasts. So why have surgery to remove healthy breasts???

I would like to introduce to you my little friends who have decided to join me in the last 24 months.
This is my Invisible Blob… Only detected on MRI but appears stable in over the past 12 months. Somewhere in the ultrasound image below is the lesion on my right breast…

This is my second friend… I call this one Weird Blob. This very hard to find on ultrasound lesion proves after a fine needle aspiration and a core biopsy to be a benign hamartoma, or a disorganised collection on tissue mass. Benign, although steadily growing in size to now make me not wear an under wire bra as it causes too much discomfort.

And this fine fellow… is my latest addition to the left breast (Yet to be officially named - suggestions please!). Only detected on my last MRI and ultrasound mid January 2014. This lesion has not previously been seen so has developed in the last 5 months. Immediate core biopsy and urgent visits to my surgeon. Unfortunately, being a sonographer has its disadvantages. This lesion does have many features of a malignant mass. The two projections from the side, vascularity, almost as tall as it is wide. At this stage this lesion is essentially inconclusive on biopsy… however this is also the reason why now is the time to have my breasts removed.

I will be undergoing a hook wire on this lesion to determine the need for further treatment (erh… chemo etc…). However for now its just a matter of GET THE THING OUT!

Even if these lesions come back as benign (which they will!!) this is why I am having surgery. Within two years I have had enough needles stuck into my boobs that if we left them there I may look more like an echidna!  I really do not wish to continue down this path. We need to sort these out prior to a positive biopsy. 

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support once I had shared the first post. I know I have a lot of support and some truly beautiful friends and family. xox

16 Days till we say GOODBYE to the LADIES!

And the count down is on... Well technically the count down had begun when my sister was diagnosed invasive ductal carcinoma. We are now 16 days out till we say goodbye to the ladies, the girls, the puppies, the bikini stuffers, the fun bags, the bosoms... what ever you call them... My boobs are being removed. Hurry!! A boob job that will be covered by private health insurance/medicare!!!!

At first this does look like the perfect opportunity to go up a size. Jokingly this was Rod's first question to my surgeon as well! He was stoked! He couldn't wait to sit with a cigar and "admire" adult magazines playing the circle game.. you know that game where you circle with a big red text in all the things you would love to have and wish someone would buy them for you?? (Sorry for sharing that Rod!). We quickly learnt this wasn't exactly how it was going to be.

I am BRCA1. I have the breast and ovarian cancer gene. As my sister pointed out... we have the same genes as Angelina Jolie... Can't you tell?? I have an 87% chance of getting breast cancer and a slightly smaller chance of ovarian cancer. The best method of reducing these numbers at my age is to literally take out all of the tissue in the breast and to remove the ovaries. The ovaries we will get to a later date. For now its the breast tissue issue.

A double mastectomy involves making a small incision from the lateral or outmost aspect of my breast to the nipple. I write small incision without really thinking about it... In fact, have a look down at your chest. Imagine a large line that extends across and circles the nipple. This isn't small... this incision is huge. I have opted to have ALL tissue removed... this means my nipples as well. In my opinion there is no point going through all of this and leaving a huge chunk of tissue sitting on my chest as a ticking time bomb! This obviously is a very personal choice. Many people do decide to keep their nipples. I have been previously told that the familiarity of seeing your own nipples there makes this process easier for some. There is no guarantee that there will be any feeling in the nipples either. In fact most are left with small either permanently erect or one erect and the other not which presents issues of its own!

Blue surgical lines illustrated above.

After the tissue is removed I have made the choice to have spaces or expanders inserted. This I have been informed will be a very uncomfortable experience however worth every bit in the long run. Pretty much the expanders allow the skin layer and surrounding muscles to settle and relax prior to having reconstructive surgery. This in theory will lead to a better and more natural looking result. After approximately 4 to 5 weeks we will start to slowly inflate my temporary friends till I am happy with the size. This entire process will take anywhere between 7 weeks to 6 months depending on how well my body copes with this process.

Following this I will then go under again for silicon implants to be inserted and at a later date tattoo nipples to be done. For those who know me well I am terrified of needles so this part will be interesting!!!!

If you haven't already guessed... this will not look like a normal breast enhancement. I will have large scars, tattoos for nipples and literally skin over the top of an implant. Breast implants in the normal situation are implants underneath already healthy breast TISSUE. This layer of tissue helps with the "normal" appearance of a breast and the implants are generally inserted from the base of the breast upwards - thus resulting in no visible scars. A number of ladies who have previously had the surgery I am about to have, have pointed out that the above mentioned surgery to be only enhancement... Our surgeries really do result in FAKE BOOBS, or more loving known to us as our foobs.

I have made the choice to document this process as recommended to me by a friend. These surgeries have been a difficult decision to make not only for me but also for my family. This will be a journal of everything I will be going through over the next couple of months including photos and images. I have the hope that maybe this might help someone else in the future with their decisions regarding having this gene.

This news will be coming as a shock to many as well as only my closest family and friends know what I am about to go through. Please call me or message me if you need. Please feel free to comment and share this blog.

Tam xox